When you meet someone for the first time and exchange pleasantries, a commonly heard question is where are you from? It is the most difficult question I am ever asked. It is usually asked innocently enough. People naturally try to establish common ground like, schools churches and people in common.
My parents were born in Wisconsin. Later in this story Wisconsin gets an honorable mention because I spent many vacation summers with nothing to do but build model cars in Juneau Wisconsin. My mothers childhood home. Her family owned some small newspapers in the area and for a while my mom and dad worked at the family owned Juneau Independent. My mom was a writer and my dad a printer. Even when people still read papers it was a difficult way to make a living in a small town. One day the person that sold printing supplies told my dad that the company he worked for was hiring. They had their first child, my oldest sister Mary Anne at that time and my dad pursued the opportunity. He went to work for Western Newspaper Union, later it evolved to be the Western Paper company.
They remained in Wisconsin for a few years after that. My older siblings Patti, Kathy Monica and Kip were born in Wisconsin. An ambitious person must be willing to relocate as the ads say. The family moved to Sioux City Iowa for a year. (Iowa is not on the list of places I have lived because I was still just a twinkle)
They then moved to Billings, Montana. I was born there is June of 1960. In August of 1960 we moved to Memphis Tennessee. My sister Beth was born there. When I was 4 or 5 we moved to Little Rock Arkansas. My dad passed away there in December of 1968 at just 48 years old. My mothers brother had left Wisconsin and taken a job in Washington D.C. My mother decided to be near her brother we would move to Maryland , in the suburbs of D.C.
In 1978, When I was a Senior In high school my mother became ill. Many of my older siblings had relocated to the Denver area. After graduation we relocated to the Jefferson county area of Denver My mom passed away in February of 1979. I missed Maryland and would occasionally bounce back there. I still consider Maryland the place I am from because that is where I came of age. Where I experienced adolescence. My sister Patti raised her family in Maryland.
My mom, before she passed had told me they always regretted leaving Montana. They left for financial offers that they could not refuse. I was frustrated in Colorado and started having the feeling of not belonging. There was a “native” bumper sticker that people would have on their cars, and it was just another reminder that I didn’t belong there.
I got married in January of 1987. When I had a family of my own and life in the big city was getting in the way of my kids being kids, I remembered what my mom had said about Montana. We moved up to Billings Montana. My siblings probably thought I was looking for connection with my parents, but I wanted to go some place where I was the “native”. Maybe I would find my sense of belonging there. I still consider Montana home even when I am not there. My 2 children Evan and Mary Ellen and 6 grandchildren are there and scores of friends that I love/. I got divorced after 27 years of marriage. The children were grown.
I remarried a woman from Ireland. As I got older I had a harder time with the brutal cold of a Montana winter. My sister Beth had moved to Nevada and so I accepted a job in Bullhead City Arizona and moved to Laughlin Nevada in March of 2018. I lived in Laughlin until January of 2020 when we bought a house in Bullhead City AZ. My second marriage ended in 2021. I retired in 2022 and have been nomadic ever since.
I am not mentioning each residence I have lived in because there have been many. Just in the first 2 years in Colorado I had 6 addresses.
I also have honorable mentions for Wisconsin and Texas. When we were first in Maryland I would go with my aunt and uncle to my grandmas house in Juneau every summer and spend 2 weeks keeping my grandma company. In 2000 I went to work with my wife’s uncle in Texas fro a month.
I have adopted sports teams along the way. When I was in Maryland was a fan of the Washington football team, when I moved to Colorado I followed the Broncos. They met in the super bowl one year and my hope was that no one would get embarrassed. The Broncos got embarrassed,but somehow that endeared them to me. I guess I always love the underdog.
I still have people that I love and experiences that shaped me in each of the places. Sometimes in life there is a longing to be like everyone else/ I guess the everyone else that was portrayed on television. As I age, I have learned there is not a typical life as dramatized in prime time.
It is just life, there are no “what ifs”. The sense of not belonging is torture for me and those who love me. It can feel to them as if they are not important to me. Nothing could be farther from the truth. Maybe the restless spirit is more common than I know. Adulthood is overcoming childhood for everyone,
Places I have called home 7
Tennessee
Arkansas
Maryland
Colorado
Montana
Nevada
Arizona